Look back on what I want to do last year, I want to have a great body that's one, and look at me now, almost 90 kg and no extra height. So the growth is not going up, but going wide. Well, I kinda forget all my other so-called resolution, hahaha... That's the only one I remember because it really the one that I really want to achieve, but look at me now. Eh, wait a minute... No, Don't look at me now... hmmm, maybe look at me in another year, who know that in 2015 I'll be having a great body. So hold your eyes for another year... hahaha...
Well, that's what I want to do. In regards of wishes, I always wishes for the same thing every year, Facial Hair and Chest Hair... Why won't it grow on me... aaargggh...!!!
Yeah, my new year resolutions are sucks. Hahaha.....
Maybe it's because part of me thinks that it really is impossible, just like growing a good hair on my chest. As I remember the reason that I wrote on the gym application a few years back on "Why I want to have a great body?" Well, my answer is quite simple, "To make my friend jealous." Yeah, it's singular not plural... hahaha...
Oh right, there is actually a plan that really come true during 2013. To continue my master degree on a scholarship. Well, at that time I actually think to continue my master degree in Indonesia because I always think that it's going to be hard to write my theses in English. Man, I had to work hard in finishing my bachelor degree's theses in Bahasa Indonesia and If I had to do that in English, it's going to be like 10 times harder. Even if I had to do my master degree outside of Indonesia, I was thinking maybe it would be Australia or Japan... Hey, but look at me now... I'm in Singapore. Hahahaha... It is an accident that I'm super glad that it happened.
There's a saying that I once saw on some bus at Jakarta, in English it says almost like, "Man Propose, God Dispose." In this life, we may have a lot of thing that we want. But the thing is there's a very significance difference between what we want and what we need. Now what we should have is what we need and what we need is sometimes always not what we want. I would like to give the judgement to God. The Almighty and All-Knowing God.
So if until now my facial hair and chest hair won't grow, maybe it's because God says that it's not what I need up until now, hahaha... Though I really want it.
So, making a new year resolution is not my thing, because I would never taking it seriously. My thing is not to live on a yearly basis, maybe that's why I can never think of new year as something special. I live on a daily basis. Every new day is a new experience and learning and most of all is that I live every day to its fullest. OMG, maybe that's why it's so hard to make me reach a long-term goal.
The end of 2013 was marked with two B. Yeah, my grade for the two modules for the first semester. If you ask me if I'm satisfy of it, my answer would be OH F*CKING NO, but darn it, I'm GRATEFUL for it. I want to believe that I could be better than that, but I gave my all for that double B. Well I don't want to be a grade-oriented person, because I don't want my life to be boring, but darn it, I can't afford to be cheerful and smart, hahaha... in other word, yeah I'm kinda not smart enough.
The thing is that I think, it's not that easy here in Singapore. Well, regardless about the cursed bell-curve grading system, maybe I just have to face the fact that I haven't give my all, well... it's easier that accepting that I'm not smart enough for this campus. hahaha... I just have to try even harder than before ever in my life.
Well, it could be my resolution... To study harder...
Oh I really wish I can make that happen. I don't want to sound pessimistic, but when I step my foot back to Singapore, my old jargon will coming back... "Part-time student and full-time tourist" hahaha.... I just simply want to have fun every time and I don't think study is one of them...
Aaaaargh... I really should turn my point of view like 180 degrees at least. I should love study. Maybe I should went to a therapist and having him hypnotherapy me so I can love study as much as I love everything else.... hahaha....
Oooh God, to think that I have to study hard in 2014 is already depressed me. Maybe I should really stand in front of a mirror and questioning my priority in life. why mirror?? Nah, I just love to look at my self. hahaha...
Oh God... I still cannot take this seriously....
Yeah, rather than taking everything seriously and setting some target, I would prefer just give my best (even though I don't know if it really is my best) on a daily basis and just hope for the best result. Rather than obsessed for some goals and forget to enjoy the process.
New year always means new hopes, but my hope will always be the same... Great Body, Facial Hair and Chest Hair... hahahaha....
Well a wise man once said, "Success is not the key to happiness, but Happiness is the key to success" Well I really wish that he's darn right because that's what I'm trying to do. Live a happy life and I hope with a happy heart, I can lead to a successful life.
Well I can't wait to see the surprises that 2014 holds for me, I hope they are all good things. If I can live everyday with a smile on my face and less wrinkles on my forehead, I think that will be good enough for me.
image source:
http://wallpaperich.com/new-year-2014-4352-hd-wallpapers.html
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